I am half way through SLICES, an anthology of 15 weird/freaky ass short stories from the dark gifted mind of Michael Montoure. 

Review to come! 

So, I can really not make any excuses at this point. Life is what it is, and sometimes it is shit. Eventually, I will have the extra time in my schedule needed to catch up on reviews. Until that time you can continue to judge me on my lameness, which I support. 

Xx 

Will be up sooooooooon!!

Secrets in the Sand
by Alana Lorens 
8/10 

I thought Secrets in the Sand would be another predictable, steamy romance novel with your typical plot and characters. It wasn't predicable or steamy, and the writing was structured, consistent and lacked the horrific cliches present in every romance novel since the dawn of time. Wait, can it still be called a romance? Anyways, I was even able to see past the train wreck of a cover photo and enjoy a well written, interesting book.  

Before I move on, I need to talk a bit more about this cover art.  Well, you can see the pic above, so just look at it for a sec… 

If I had seen it on the shelf I would have stopped just to mock its blatant American imagery: man with gun, sleeveless t-shirt with what looks like a tribal tattoo. Wow. So imagine my apprehension when I downloaded the .jpg and this was the image that I saw. Mustering the motivation to crack my Kobo and start reading I thought, "Fuck it, if it's awful I can hit the delete button and move on with my life." And I fully expected that this would be the reality as I curled up on the couch last week to read it. 

Let me tell you, the artwork and title to not properly reflect the content of the book. Its not sickeningly patriotic like the cover art suggests, nor is it about war and fighting the typical Arab bad guy as the title suggests. I was incredibly relieved and satisfied from the first paragraph in. The writing was polished and the plot was unique. Unique is a word that is difficult to use when describing romance novels, as plots have been recycled so many times that it's next to impossible to be original anymore. It's like all the new pop stars singing remakes of the old classics with a bit of extra flare thrown in there to make it sound original.

The protagonists name is Lily Pearl. *grin* Oh, and it gets better. She is the madam of a "brothel" near the Mexican border. Now I know what you're thinking, "Is it a brothel or not? What's with the quotations?" And yes, it is a brothel but a very professional and egalitarian one, hence the quotations. Each of the women is a partner in the company and they make decisions as a group. Although Lily is the madam, she does not hold any more authority than the other women. Also, the women have total control over who their clients are, and there is no obligation to be physically intimate with a customer. The women, if interested, will choose to take their client up the stairway to heaven. Their clientele are professional and, on most nights, respectful and orderly. Mike, a frequent customer, is even a law enforcement officer. 

Here's a quote from the sexy male lead, I'll get to him soon:

“You listen to me. What you girls do here is a service, just like going to the lawyer or the doctor. You provide something people need, and they pay to access those services. There’s nothing wrong or dirty or bad about anything you’re doing. In fact, considering your business model, it’s something amazing to me. Each of you chooses your clients, what you do, what your percentage is...I’ve never seen anything like it.”

So, Gene, or Nick when he was lying about his name, is your all American romance hero. A sexy doctor who goes to Mexico to help the poor villagers in Puerto de Anapra through the Doctors without Borders program. Ya, ya, I know, doesn't sound very original at all but Mr. Nick has quite the baggage. He shows up on Lily's doorstep one night, bloodied and disorientated, in need of some serious downtime- and not the sexy kind. So Lily helps him out, and allows him to hide out for a while until she can assess whether or not he is a threat. Lily's baggage is just as heavy as his, as her need to help strangers has put her in some shady shit as well. Their shared history of questionable judgement creates the perfect bridge for the two to bond. Like a good recipe, love needs a cup of murder, a dash of drug cartel and a pinch of sexual assault. I told you the plot was great. 

And the story really is well planned and interesting. It's exciting and well developed and it had twists that kept me guessing. Plus, there wasn't a lot of the sappy bullshit I'm used to reading. But here is the real shocker: I liked the book and it DIDN'T have any steamy sex scenes. Now for all you 50 Shades of Grey lovers, lets keep in mind the need to diversify your reading palates. With a well developed plot, interesting characters and romantic tension one does not always need the panty-wetting details (Did I just type that?!).

So, my advice is to look past the cheese-piled-cheese cover art, and misleading title and read the book. It offers a lot more than I expected and in the end, as you can see by my lengthy review, I am a happy romance reviewer. Thanks Alana! 



Xx

The Domino Effect 
by Andrew Cotto
7/10 

The Domino Effect is a coming of age story about Danny Rorro, an Italian kid from Queens who just can't seem to catch a break. Now I HATE the phrase coming of age but until there are better synonyms than fecundity and virility it will have to do. Anyways, we follow Danny through his high school life as he struggles with the common teenage annoyances: shitty schools, unstable friends and painful romances. Ugh, I'm so glad high school is over. 

The book is unique in the way it's organized. It starts with the first three years of Danny's high school life, with each chapter representing a separate year. The events go by quickly but we get a detailed understanding of Danny's family and school life that sets us up nicely for the main part of the book: his fourth year at Hamden Academy. The rest of the book slows right down and is the conclusion of Danny's high school/adolescence. 

Danny's father, though not a main character in the book, was my favourite. At a time when Queens was struggling to accept the new immigrants moving into the neighbourhood, Danny's father embraced them, made friends and even spoke to them in Spanish. He taught Danny the importance of kindness and fairness and also how to defend himself against the bullies that were not so happy about how friendly his father was being to the new neighbours. Talk about living by example, Danny was lucky to have him as a role model. 

I also really liked the description of his father's well-timed winks. I could picture them perfectly. 

Danny is an interesting character. His anger and resentment towards his father seem in sync with normal  teenage emotions but his thoughts and actions don't match that of a child his age. I had to remind myself throughout the book that he was in high school and not university. His introspect and control aren't typical of a teenage boy. Most of the boys in my high school fought, fucked and smoked their way through school: think Dazed and Confused. 

Sure, Danny was wrapped up in Brenda, and there was reference to smoking and masturbating to Christy Turlington, but he is still very thoughtful and collected for a boy his age. Usually hormone-infested adolescents barely make it out of the house, but he kept his composure even when he found out Brenda was date raped by his friend Todd. He gets knocked around the whole book and he always keeps his cool. What teenager could calmly walk away from a dickhead who very clearly needs an ass whooping? It messed with my head. 

One thing that upset me about the book was the blatant foreshadowing. I hate knowing what's going to happen because I become obsessed with it and no matter what I'm reading I'm thinking about what's going to happen. Makes me nuts. This happened the whole book. Here's an example: 

"Oh, relax,” I told him. “We’re just messing around.”

“Alright, alright,” he nodded, up and down, up and down. “But this shit comes up again, it ain’t gonna be so funny.”

That was true. It would come up again, and it wouldn’t be funny. Not at all.

Finally, I was excited to see the word rigamarole. My dad says this word every so often and I never thought I would see it in a book so it was cool... at first. But after the fourth time it was referenced it started losing its novelty. 

This is one of my favourite quotes in the book. Think dirty. It's just too easy: 

Brenda pointed to a rocky jetty that shot out from the shore. “That’s where we go crabbing,” she said.
“Crabbing?” I asked. “Sounds contagious.”
“It’s so much fun,” she said. “You tie a piece of hot dog to a string and drop it in the water, and when it moves, you pull it up slowly and then catch the crab with a net.”

“Then what happens?”

“You collect them in a bucket and eat em’ for dinner.” She crinkled her nose. “The fun part’s really catching them, since they’re sort of hard to eat and there’s not a lot of meat.”


And another great one that shows the character of his father: 


“You know, I’ve worked with minority kids for 15 years, and one thing that some of them share is a real resistance to the world outside their own. And if you think about history, and even the way things still are, it’s not so hard to understand why. So maybe this terence is struggling with all that, with who he is and where he fits in.”

“I don’t know, Pop,” I said.

“I think you do, Pal,” he answered right back. “I think that you do.”

he was right. I knew what it was like to be an outsider, or, at least to feel like one. I thought about terence. It’d been a long time since I’d thought about what it would be like to be anybody other than me. No wonder I had such a hard time figuring things out.

“So, you see where he’s coming from?” Pop asked. “I’m working on it,” I said.
“Good. It shouldn’t be such a stretch for you, Pal. And

remember, you were brought up to look out for other people. If you’re in a position to help someone, you’re supposed to do it.”

“oK, Pop,” I said. “I got it.”

I hung up the phone and thought of the dominoes again, and how I could help terence from falling the wrong way.

 
I think most people would enjoy this book. It's easy to read and people can identify with the struggles of adolescence, facing adversity and falling in love. So enjoy. 

Xx

Bucket of Blood - K. Bannerman
9/10

This is the second book I have read and reviewed from K. Bannerman. Her first book, The Fire Song, was an excellent novel that incorporated the local history and lore of the Lower Mainland, British Columbia. I loved reading about places I had visited and lived so close to, so I was very excited to read her latest release, Bucket of Blood. Thankfully, she stuck with a Canadian setting, describing the land and people of Cumberland, BC in 1898.

Ok, I may not have done the best job at peaking your interest in this novel so far, but trust me when I say that it's not a dry history lesson about a time when our ancestors had to, "walk five miles uphill both ways to school." 

Anyways...

Is the novel historically accurate? To the best of my knowledge (which is not much) yes, and it makes the backdrop to the story rich and the imagery colourful.  When I close my eyes to sleep tonight I am going to see the cramped second floor of Shao's house, the soot covered faces of the coal miners, and the debaucherously filled streets. Debaucherously. Ha!  How is that not a word?

Lizzie, our protagonist, is a modern minded 15 year old woman, and I do mean woman, stuck in an era and town not capable of understanding her lifestyle and strong mind. She is a feminist in a time when that kind of thinking and behaviour was not only discouraged but even categorized as a mental illness. Violet, her older sister, is the picture of femininity and correct social graces and is, of course, devastatingly embarrassed by Lizzie's complete disregard of proper etiquette. However, Lizzie could give two shits about her own reputation, Violet's reputation or the reputation of the family. 

In swoops Dr. John Saunders, father of the century. He not only supports Lizzie's free thinking, he defends her actions. What an awesome father! His support of his daughter's unique lifestyle is unwavering despite society, family and friends fighting him daily to conform and make a "proper" woman out of her. He saw her talent and passion for medicine and nurtured it instead of forcing her to adapt to a lifestyle she never connected with.

 …. eeeeeeerch.  *My slamming on the brakes sound effects* 

See, I know what you are thinking, as I was thinking the same thing; this is going to be a "Girl Power" book and she's going to show everyone in town how women can do anything men can do, and do it better. HA! You are totally wrong… and so was I. 

           STOP, SPOILERS AHEAD

yaaaaaaa, did NOT see that one coming. What. The. Hellfire! 

Is there a normal person in that bloody town? I couldn't put the book down. With the feverish page tapping I did on my Kobo my neighbours must think there's a woodpecker cohabiting with me. I flew through the last 200 pages trying to find out what was going to happen to at least four of the characters that I had grown attached to. Everyone seemed to be on the precipice of death, or at the very least disembowelment, rape or maiming. It was maddening! 
Damn you K. Bannerman! You suck me into the life of this fiery protagonist who is wickedly intelligent, calculated and eerily calm in the face of danger. You make me envious of her strength of character; I want to defend and protect her but mostly because I wish I was more like her. Ms. Bannerman, you created this relationship, nay bond,  between Lizzie and I, quite magically, over 400+ pages. You sculpted her into this Joan of Arc type character who I was prepared to follow into battle... 

Then, quite stealthily,  you reveal the last piece of Lizzie character: the result of her many admirable characteristics. And since I found her so relatable I can't help but feel the insinuation that I may also contain something sinister inside me. Are you calling me a sociopath, Ms. Bannerman? How brazen! How cheeky! My insides are squealing in delight and horror. Well done. 

… 

A lesbian and a serial killer keeping each others' urges in check. Never saw that one coming. And if you think the story line couldn't get any more absurd and fascinating, you'll be happy to know that amidst the buckets of blood and horror is a delightfully naughty and thrilling intercultural love story. 

Intrigued now, aren't ya.  ;) 
****

Here are some of my favourite parts of the book: 

Pg. 269.

"I chose to remain inert. It was a better place to be. Look at Violet, an utter whirlwind of unfocused emotion, blustering around the room with one hand tracing her course on the bookshelves, her breath rising in stuttered huffs and her heart practically hammering out of her shivering body. I placed one palm on my own chest and felt the calm, easy, familiar rhythm. I wondered if I could resurrect that delicious gallop that Jack’s fear had instilled in me, but I was hesitant to turn on the switch again, open up the door to the cellar. I made a conscious decision to not feel, not now. If I opened myself up to feeling emotions, who knows what would burst out?"

Pg. 288.

"I cast my thoughts back to the mule, dying by my hand, down in the guts of the earth. I thought of the sad, soft rhythm of its breath, the way it gently slipped into the void without protest or struggle.
 
My pulse began to slow.

 … The soft cold fur of the mule’s ear tickled my fingers as I took it from its reliquary. The memory of that eerie tranquility trickled through me. I sat on the edge of the bed as I fondled the soft, desiccated flesh, a solid memento mori to accompany the sense of calm.

 My shoulders relaxed.

 I breathed a sigh of relief. In the empty room, the sound reminded me of the last exhalation of the mule, a release of air flecked with blood. My fingers slackened, my body lightened. My eyes opened and I lost myself in thought, daydreamed freely, and recalled the sweetness of an intimate moment shared between me and the liberated soul."



Pg. 339. 

"I wondered if the world would see the difference in my face, now that I was party to the thaumaturgic mysteries of copulation; I had been made aware, I knew, I had touched the grandeur of creation, I was open to sin. It was not quite triumph I felt, but something close, blended with tranquility.

This made me smile.

I’d felt the same sort of honey-soaked, gentle, mellow tranquility once before, last June, on my trip into the mine with Father. I nestled myself into Shao’s embrace and mused that maybe this tranquility was a little better, because this time, nothing had needed to die."


Pg. 341. 

"I jerked to a stop at the sound of my own prattling. A scolding from Agnes for coming home late would pale in comparison to what would befall Shao if his uncle found a naked white girl in the boy’s bed. And, to take it one step further, Mr. Tao’s fury would be nothing, compared to the fate that would materialize over their humble Chinese apothecary, should the Company discover the horrific affront to all that was good and decent in Victorian society which had occurred in this tiny room on the second floor.

Dexterity returned to my hands. Never in the history of illicit dalliances

had a row of pearl buttons been so hastily closed."


Pg. 343. 

"As I dressed, I pondered the thought of a world without me in it, and realized that yes, I was just as expendable as every other human being that had existed before me, and every human being that would come after me.

‘How can a life have so little impact?’ I thought. ‘How can we continue to do anything with a sense of urgency or importance, when time will erase our names from the annals of history, and everything we do amounts to precisely nothing? No one will remember me when I am dead. No one will remember my mother, my sister, my father. All we have done will be forgotten.’"

****

 This really is a mind fuck of a story that ends up somewhere I could never have imagined. It's also only .99 cents right now, so it's basically free.  CLICK HERE TO BUY IT NOW! 

____________________________________________________________
I was intrigued by the Acknowledgments where K. Bannerman teases, "As for the identity of John Saunders—stranger things have happened, dear reader, and the whispers of the past inspired me." I went directly onto Google and found some pretty interesting pictures. Check some of them out:

This is my Shao. As soon as I saw the pic I was like, "Yep, totally Shao." This is an actual Chinese worker in Cumberland. So cool. 

Chinatown in Cumberland, BC at the time. 

Truly a great story. Thank you K. Bannerman. 
Xx 

Siddhartha- Herman Hesse
9/10

A wonderful quick read that is very inspirational. Here are my favourite parts:

Govinda
“When someone is seeking,” said Siddartha, “It happens quite easily that he only sees the thing that he is seeking; that he is unable to find anything, unable to absorb anything, because he is only thinking of the thing he is seeking, because he has a goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: to have a goal; but finding means: to be free, to be receptive, to have no goal. You, O worthy one, are perhaps indeed a seeker, for in striving towards your goal, you do not see many things that are under your nose.”

"Listen my friend! I am a sinner and you are a sinner, but someday the sinner will be Brahma again, will someday attain Nirvana, will someday become a Buddha. Now this ‘someday’ is illusion; it is only a comparison. The sinner is not on the way to a Buddha-like state; he is not evolving, although our thinking cannot conceive things otherwise. No, the potential Buddha already exists in the sinner; his future is already there. The potential hidden Buddha must be recognized in him, in you, in everybody. The world, Govinda, is not imperfect or slowly evolving along a long path to perfection, No, it is perfect at every moment; every sin already carries grace within it, all small children are potential old men, all sucklings have death within them, all dying people –eternal life. It is not possible for one person to see how far another is on the way; the Buddha exists in the robber and dice player; the robber exists in the Brahmin. During deep meditation it is possible to dispel time, to see simultaneously all the past, present and future and then everything is good, everything is perfect, everything is Brahmin. Therefore, it seems to me that everything that exists is good-death as well as life, sin as well as holiness, wisdom as well as folly. Everything is necessary, everything needs only my agreement, my assent, my loving understanding; then all is well with me and nothing can harm me. I learned through my body and soul that is was necessary for me to sin, that I needed lust, that I had to strive for property and experience nausea and the depths of despair in order to learn not to resist them, in order to learn to love the world, and no longer compare it with some kind of desired imaginary world, some imaginary vision of perfect, but to leave it as it is, to love it and be glad to belong to it. These, Govinda are some of the thoughts that are in my mind."

"Siddhartha bent down, lifted a stone from the ground and held it in his hand. "This," he said, handling it, "is a stone, and within a certain length of time it will perhaps be soil and from the soil it will become plant, animal or man. Previously I should have said: This stone is just a stone; it has no value, it belongs to the world of Maya, but perhaps because within the cycle of change it can also become man and spirit, it is also of importance. That is what I should have thought. But now I think: That stone is stone; it is also animal, God and Buddha. I do not respect and love it because it was one thing and will become something else, but because it has already long been everything and always is everything. I love it just because it is a stone, because today and now it appears to me a stone. I see value and meaning in each one of its fine markings and cavities, in yellow, in gray, in the hardness and the sound of it when I knock it,in the dryness or dampness of its surface. There are stones that feel like oil or soap, that look like leaves or sand, and each one is Brahman. At the same time it is very much stone, oily or soapy, and that is just what pleases me and seems wonderful and worthy of worship."

May, 2012
5/10 

Alys, Always is a novel about a manipulative woman named Frances who schemes her way to the top of the professional and social ladder. In doing so she lies and cons everyone around her, taking advantage of every situation. Not one person in her life, family, coworkers or "friends," catches on to the deception. You can't really call someone a friend if you have scammed them from the very beginning, can you? Anyways, so far it sounds like the plot of a delicious betrayal filled with twists and backstabbing atrocities BUT (and I am sad to say this is one but of many) the book overall was a draaaaaag. 

This lead to me put the book down for over a month to take a bit of a break, mostly to reduce my blood pressure. I had to force myself to finish… force. This is also the reason why it has taken me so long to write a review.

I hate writing bad reviews. Reviewers on the internet are like stars in the sky: amillionfuckingbillion of unoriginal dots in the never-ending blackness. So I write this review knowing that if the author does happen to read it, which she won't, she will know that I am only one opinion in a sea of asshole opinions. 

Anyways, in the end Frances gets what she wants but this reader didn't. Not sure that's the ending the author was hoping for. 

Xx