Feb 6 - Feb 9, 2012

Blood Road
Edo Van Belkom
Horror
Published 2004
317 pages

9.5/10

  Hitchhiking across Canada just become even more dangerous, because there's a trucker out there who will do some bad BAD things to you before he kills you... and he's had a lot of time to hone his craft.  So if you're a pretty young thing trying to get away from a bad situation at home like Amanda Peck, consider saving up for a Greyhound ticket before you throw caution to the wind and decide to stand on the side of the road with your thumb out...

  This had all the makings of a pulp horror novel - an evil monster, a helpless victim, an asshole of a boyfriend, a likable gumshoe detective determined to crack the case, all wrapped up in an innocuous paperback with a pun on the cover.  But I hesitate to call this pulp, because it was too damn good, and too damn surprising to entirely fit into that category.  The evil monster (while horrifying) is also nearly pathetic; the helpless victim doesn't wait around to be rescued and takes matters into her own hands; the asshole decides to get his shit together; the gumshoe... well, he's still that, but he's likable because he's written well, not because he's some clumsy Clouseau-esque inspector simply penciled in for a laugh. 

  As for the pun on the cover, well, I fucking love puns.  Shoot me.
  Really, it was an enjoyable read.  When I was certain I had the plot figured out (and wondered how the hell the author was going to drag the book out for another 150 pages) shit went haywire and the story moved along in a totally new (but totally plausible) direction, which is a huge plus in my books because it takes a lot to hold my interest, and I get bored pretty easily.  I'm the proverbial tough critic, and you've got to be on point to keep me from heckling you like an asshole. 

  The best part about this book was that it was SURPRISING.  Good surprising.  Not The Crying Game surprising.  While our lady protagonist was enough of a stereotype to get herself into such a massively shitty situation, she turned out to be badass enough to deal with it, and her evolution as a character warmed the jaded cockles of my heart.  You get stereotypes in pulp - you get evolution in literature.  Really, Amanda Peck is pretty fuckin' awesome, and unquestionable my favorite character, though the crusty mess that is our antagonist comes in at a close second.  He's nasty in appearance and nastier in personality, disgustingly gross but disgustingly powerful.  Much like a traumatized hobo living on the edge of a nuclear power plant in Chernobyl.
  Sure, there were a few persnickety bits that irked me; certain wording in a sentence here and there, calling semen "seed".  That's all personal preference though, and the author couldn't have foreseen that the term "seed" will forever and always immediately catapult me to THIS:    

  More than anything though, this book was FUN.  Likable characters, excitement, action, surprises; all these elements make for an enjoyable read that you can't wait to get back to, and Blood Road had all of it.  There was an excellent balance between Pulp (humor, stereotypes, blood and gore) and Damn-Good-Reading (couldn't put the goddamn thing down).  Even the ending was a perfect fit.  Really, it might have been the best part, and there were a LOT of good parts.
  So go out, find Blood Road, read the fuck out of it, and thank me after.  I am fully willing to accept Nicholas Cage memorabilia in place of gratitude, by the way. 
  No, really.