Mar 17 - Mar 18, 2012

Skin Games
Adam Pepper
General Fiction
Published 2011
190 pages

9/10

  When the Mob terrorizes and destroys a family restaurant, the lone survivor decides to take matters into her own hands.  But the man she's hired to take care of business has ties of his own to the Mob, and more importantly, the Mob boss' daughter...

  You know, this was a great fuckin' book. 
  By the end I was completely blown away; but I wasn't quite impressed at first.  Though the beginning was pretty intense, once we got into the protagonist's story, I thought his voice was sterile and he moved events along too quickly.  But while I was mentally bitching about those qualities, the story was also speeding along like a runaway motherbitch and I was totally snared BECAUSE of those qualities.  No frou-frou soliloquies, no meandering notions; just the facts, ma'am.  Which actually made it remarkably easy to stay engrossed (and therefore kept my mind from wandering) because the protagonist hasn't been reminiscing about how the quality of the midsummer sky reminded him of the relationship he had with his daddy... for 12 goddamn pages.  I grudgingly began to appreciate the character's style, though I lamented the lack of action.
  Buy, did I ever have it coming for me.
  When the action hit, it was fast and furious.  But not 2Fast 2Furious.
  Thank Christ.
  It was then that I realised that I had been party to one hell of a buildup (sneaky, I didn't even know I had been invited until I was there!) and the attitude of the protagonist, which I had deemed somewhat flat at first, made him all the more terrifying for all the trauma he encountered, and continued to encounter.
  By the end, Skin Games had delivered one hell of a whallop, and as I turned the last page I found myself crying like a bitch; or like a fat kid over a dropped box of jelly donuts (true story, I had them balanced on my bike handlebars, I hit a bump, and !BAM! there went all the donuts); or a sports fan that had their team lose to Oakland:
  Or like a dad that just found out his son still loves him:
  Or like a kid who has to turn off the XBOX:
  I honestly don't know what it says about our society that there are countless YouTube videos of people crying.  Weird.  But I digress.
  It could have used a little more embellishment - more details, more depth.  I like longer sentences and the occasional sprinkling of exclamation points.  But the story as is stands amazingly well, and I'm not sure any changes would actually improve it. 
  See, the whole tone of the book is set by the protagonist, and he's one cold ass motherfucker.  Right from the beginning he's calm, cool, and collected.  As an initial introduction, he's not terrifically endearing.  When I started the book, I wasn't too keen on him, and therefore, felt somewhat detached from the story.  But as the story progressed, and he began getting mixed up with scarier shit, I found myself drawn in by how he kept it together in situations where I would have been... well, crying like a bitch; once I finished, I was totally fucking fascinated and more than a little torn up inside.  And I don't think our protagonist flinched once throughout the whole story... well, maybe once.  Ugh.  Seriously, the ending was one of the most gut-wrenching, squirm-inducing pieces I've ever read.
  Hell, I think maybe the author could have just be fucking with us - "I'll start off calm, lull the reader into a false sense of security, and then !BAM! donuts everywhere!  I mean, !BAM! I punch the reader in the face with more violence and heartache than an entire season of Gossip Girl!  Metaphorically, of course."  Well played, Mister Pepper.  Well played.
  Basically, the things that I didn't like about Skin Games at first seemed to, in the end, make the story what it was: a damn fine piece of reading.  It wined me, dined me, pulled out the gimp mask and bent me over the table in a corner booth, and promised it would call me later. 
  Get it.  Read it.  And try not to cry like a bitch.
 
 
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Jan 17 - Jan 25, 2011

Forced Entry
Stephen Solomita
Crime Fiction
Published October 1991
369 pages

6.5/10

    A retired cop hunts down bad-guy types, vigilante style... and still manages to find love with a no-nonsense lawyer-type!  Outstanding!
    CRIME!  DRAMA!  ROMANCE!  HOOKERS!  This story has it all!  Even a misplaced set of quotations marks!  But with a title like Forced Entry (and a cover like that) this book is bound to satisfy.
    Literally, I chose this book based on the title/cover combo.  Totally looks like a dude trying to pry into/escape out of a gaping butthole (more on that in the new "Literary Hilarity" section).  The story itself is a lot more meh.  In fact, it's hardly remarkable.
    It appears as though I stepped into a series of some sort (again, this shows how little research I did on this book before buying it... I just needed the double entendre in my life) and middle books are never that great.  The retired cop, Moodrow,  wants to help some upper-middle-class types because one of them is related to a chick he's banging.  Reasonable.  But Moodrow, he's pretty... dull.  Like, in the way that he's only described as "big" and "a retired cop".  That's it.  The author spends more time on the bit player junkies and whores, whom which make up the majority of the only remarkable bits.  There was excess amounts of New York landmark name-dropping which I couldn't care less about, and weirdly cheesy bits, like the romance between Moodrow and Betty and the last scene between the Jackson Arms resident and the Super.  Lame-O.  And once I realized it was a series, there was no doubt that our protagonist was going to live to fight crime another day.  The preview for the next book in the back kind of queered the deal on that guessing game.  
    It wasn't terribly written, and it was graphic enough often enough to keep me superficially entertained, but all in all, it amounted to just a filler book.