Feb 1 - Feb 4, 2012

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
Ransom Riggs
Fantasy
Published 2011
232 pages

9.5/10

  Jacob's grandfather Abe has a collection of strange photographs and even stranger stories to go with them; girls who float unless tied to the Earth, and boys who are strong enough to heft boulders with only one hand.  Many years ago, Abe lived with these children in a beautiful house on the other side of the world, where a wise old bird protected them from monsters.  Jacob thought these were just harmless fairy tales, until the monsters come for him...

  I picked this book up know absolutely nothing about it; literally, I didn't even have a dust jacket to go by.  But I was feeling adventurous:

   And I jumped right in.
  I'm totally stoked I gave this book a chance.  Even though it's a total departure from my usual fare (no stiff nipples or exploding craniums) I enjoyed it thoroughly.  The writing was spot on and I tripped along at a quick pace.  There was plenty of action and a multitude of interesting characters to keep me engrossed.
  Really, the biggest draw for me was the variety of Peculiars.  Not only were they all lovingly drawn and imaginatively unique, they had accompanying photos!  Photos!  REAL ASS PHOTOS!  Do you know how rad that is?!  And all the photos are real ass old-timey shots rescued from flea markets and swap meets.  Perhaps I'm biased because I also collect abandoned photos, but fuck it, I like this book especially much because of that.
  The main plot was sinister, but not overtly so; just enough to please the horror lover in me, but not so much that I, say, couldn't loan it to my precocious niece.  There was a touch of romance (no graphic stuff, though) and a really decent amount of violence.  But really, the main focus was the fantasy and the magic, and that kept it fairly appropriate.  I mean, I'd let MY non-existent imaginary kids read it, but those moms who hate Harry Potter because it's witchcraft might be another story.

Feb 18 - Feb 21, 2011

Will To Live
Les Stroud
Non Fiction/Adventure/Reference
Published 2010
228 pages

9/10

    Les Stroud takes us step by step through classic disaster scenarios (as well as his own adventures) to teach us... how to survive.  May I point out, he uses his skill of hindsight more than any other?
    Mr. Stroud states that there are four key components to survival: knowledge, luck, kit, and will to live.  I honestly believe that knowledge, and therefore preparedness, is the most important component BY FAR.  Because knowledge means the difference between using a candle to keep you warm when you're trapped in your vehicle during a snowstorm, or taking a nice nap because you left the heat on and it's just so dang cozy.  And you know what?  Luck, kit, or will to live won't mean shit when you get eaten by zombies because you've been trapped in quicksand and don't know how to escape the advancing undead horde.  May I mention, by the way, that all of this research is to prepare for the inevitable zombie apocalypse?  Be  ready.  It'll happen one day.  And that's why I'm drawn to books like this; you never know when a little tidbit of info will mean the difference between munching on survival rations and munching BRRRAAA-AAAIIIINNNNSSSSS.
    This book gave me just about everything I expected; adventure stories of a most terrific and entertaining nature, peppered with handy bite-sized bits of survival information.  I BLASTED through this book, and was left with the overall feeling that the human spirit is a tenacious entity, and that certain individuals are capable of some nasty shit when faced with life or death situations.
    My only problem with this book (i.e. why it got a 9/10 instead of the highly coveted 10/10) was the writer.  I don't know if it was the ghostwriter kissing ass, or if Les comes from planet "Look at Me, Look at What I Can Do" but to me, he came across as kind of an ass hat.  First off, there's all the Les!  As in, one chapter about epic survival in the most monstrous of conditions with no knowledge as to whether or not rescue will come or if everyone will perish from frostbite, starvation, anus impalation on dry stick, etc. will be followed by one chapter about Les.  Now, I'm not saying he's not Survivorman.  I'm not saying he's not way harder than my honky ass.  I'm not even saying that he hasn't been bitten by a shark.  I'm just sayin'... he has GPS.  The guys from Uruguay ATE people.  'Nuff said.  And when he claims, "... the most common cause of death in the wilderness is unpreparedness." I have to raise my hand and ask, Are you sure it's not exposure, Les?  Frostbite?  Being IMPALED in the ANUS with a DRY STICK?  Or is the coroner going to look at the mangled, appendage-less, famine ravished corpse of a hapless victim, shake his head sadly, and write "UNPREPAREDNESS" under "Cause of Death", dust his hands off, and walk away into the night, having closed the book on that messy corpse?  I'm sure he meant it as a catchy buzz-phrase like "I didn't do it!" or "Did I do that?" but it irritates me all to shit.  And you know what Les?  Having you expound all through the story about how you wouldn't have done that, you would've done this, how that was a poor choice, and you'd have made a better one, doesn't go a long way in making you a sympathetic character IN YOUR OWN FREAKING BOOK.  Hindsight is 20/20.  Way to go, bud.
    But I otherwise thoroughly enjoyed the book, and picked up some useful facts along the way.  Actually, all I can remember off the top of my head is how to get out of quicksand, but I'm sure if I was in an ACTUAL survival situation, I'D know exactly what to do.  Right, Les?