Nov 29 - Dec 9, 2011

Forest of Shadows
Hunter Shea
Horror
Published Oct 2011
351 pages

8.5/10

  In Shida, Alaska, there is a house filled with unexplained phenomena - sentient shadows, madness, and the disappearance of an entire family.  John Backman investigates the mysterious, and he travels to Alaska with his family to stay in the very house to try to unravel the mystery... but it's far more dangerous than ANYONE could have imagined...

  I don't read a lot of ghost stories.  Call me crazy (and I'll eat your other eyeball!) but I don't find ghosts that scary.  They're usually pretty quiet, you can't touch them (and they don't usually touch you) and they're sheer.  Like pantyhose.  Sure, they can appear and disappear without warning, which can be shocking, but if that scares you, you should also avoid magicians:

(and not just because they're creepy douchebags) as well as ex-boyfriends (also creepy doughebags). 
  But this story?  Pretty creepy, actually.  I think it helped that not only were there ghosts, but also a haunted house, possession, and a super mysterious back story.
  Honestly, I think that was the best part, because when I was reading, I kept getting these teasing little glimpses of mysterious past unexplained violence and present mysterious meetings of the perpetrators discussing an uber mysterious deep dark town secret.  So I was racing through the book to figure out what the fuck was going on and WHY it was going on (although I figured it out a tad bit early).  Well, I was racing through the second half, anyways. 
  Unfortunately, the first half of the book took me freakin' FOREVER to get through.  There was very little action or spookyness and a lot of... well... boring, tedious, everyday occurrences.  BUT.  The beginning of the book was one of the best openers I've read in a long LONG ass time.  Not just one, but TWO whammies, the second one totally unexpected, to draw me in and get me going.  Reading the first two chapters of this book got me really excited (the regular PG kind, not the 'adult romance' kind... though there's even a tad bit of that in here, too) and gave me hope when I was slogging though the not-so-scary stuff.  So the book kind of went AWESOME - REALLY AWESOME - BOOOORING - AWESOME!  I can live with that.
  It was a good book; better than average in writing (although the couple of heavily cliched "Nooooo!" 's were definitely giggle worthy) and it was original.  Very few books center on Native American characters or backdrops, and as an entire 1/4 Micmac, I find it just a bit delicious that the Native Americans carry the upper hand throughout the majority of this story.  Woo hoo!  The minority is the majority here, bizznatches!

May 19 - May 24, 2011

Just Before Night
Joe Tonzelli & Anthony Giangregorio
Horror/Zombie Anthology
Published 2010
177 pages

8.5/10

  A collection of snippits detailing a zombie outbreak from the perspective of ordinary, county-type citizens.

  I LOVE me some zombies - as the most plausible, and therefore scariest monster, they freak me out, which means I always pick up zombie books when I get the chance.  The only problem is that when you've read one zombie book, you've kind of read them all.  For the most part, it's the same formula: people eating other people that don't want to be eaten.  Generally there aren't really going to be any groundbreaking shockers, so it's up to the author to draw me in with a character driven plot, believable dialogue, and writing that is at least good, if not above average.  If you can throw some really innovative gore in, I'm laughing all the way to the army surplus store for non-perishable canned food and porno for my bunker.  But I digress.  What I'm trying to say is that all those elements need to come together to draw me in and keep me interested in a book where I would otherwise know the general plot.
  Choosing this book was a gamble, because independent publishing usually goes one of two ways - it's either tragically awful, or fantastically good.  To my pleasant surprise, this one was the latter.  And while it is an anthology (which I love in the zombie genre) all the stories are interconnected via the county the story is set in, which is even more awesome!  It had all the elements I need in a good zombie book.
  The opening story, "Bill", was OK enough.  It could've been the opening for just about any zombie book, and it wasn't particularly remarkable.  But it wasn't... bad.
  "The Diner", however, was BADASS.  As one of the longer stories, if gave me time to get to know and care about the characters, who are all average Joes, including our reluctant hero.  There were ridiculous amounts of violence, including the breaking of one of the cardinal rules of classic horror cinema, which is always delightfully obscene.  And it ended with a bang, both figuratively and literally.
  "The Awakening" was just about as good as "The Diner" but for the fact that I didn't particularly care much for any of the protagonists, as they were all cunty whiners.  Otherwise, I really enjoyed it because it felt like I was seeing the back story behind every zombie movie scene where the frightened, desperate family bursts in.  Very cool.
  "The Picnic" left me cold.  It consisted of wieners stumbling around in the dark with little action to draw the story along.  No thank you.
  Finishing it all up, "Right Between the Eyes" was pretty bang on.  As the longest of the stories, there was plenty of time for development, as well as lots of action and suspense.  Unfortunately, the main protagonist was the kind of gruff, older, man-in-charge type that I couldn't really identify with, and the ending made him out to be that much more of an unpleasant dick face.  The culmination was all wrong, in my humble opinion.  But it was definitely different.
  Just Before Night was a fun read, and a fairly original zombie book, without going into ridiculous scenarios.

Feb 22 - Feb 25, 2011

Mercy
Jodi Picoult
General Fiction
Published 1996
400 pages

8.5/10

    Jamie McDonald euthanizes his terminally ill wife via a pillow over her face; Cam McDonald euthanizes his terminally average marriage via a love affair with a mysterious nomad.  Judgment ensues.
    It's not often my book comes with an official "Reader's Club Guide" to help me evaluate my reading experiance.  Let's go through these Q's and explore our A's, shall we?
    1. To what degree is the title a metaphor for this novel?
    Mercy is not a motherfudgin' metaphor for this book.  It is a legitimate feeling/action that occurs in this book over and over again.  Theme?  Yes, definitely.  Metaphor though?  Not in the least.  Fuck you, Reader's Club Guide, for starting off like a pseudo-pretentious asshole, right out of the gate.
    2. Are Jamie's actions justified? What about Cam's? Allie's?
    Jamie's actions, I feel, were justified.  I've had to put down a beloved pet before, and animals inspire a lot more feeling in me than most people do.  I think I could put down a dying loved one if they were begging for it.  I'd make them sign a goddamn contract, though.  Cam, however, is an asshat, and a pansy to boot.  Philandering is a quality that will put you in my bad book, and hiding it so as to have your cake and have sex with it too?  So despicable.  Not in the least bit justified.  And Allie?  What did she do; try to help someone and find evidence that true love does exist?  She's a woman.  We're programmed to eat that shit up for breakfast.  Justified due to gender.
    3. Who is the author of the "notes"between the chapters? Who are these snippets addressing? Did you believe this throughout the book?
    I have to assume it's some sort of mystical time-traveling robot that has nothing to do with this story, because those segments were confusing as hell.  If I had to guess though, I'd say Cam.  Which makes me dislike him even more, because they seem to be written from a "down the line" perspective, which means he's still griping about the one that got away.
    4. Jamie says, "You know it's never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It's always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly; someone else sails along for the ride."Do you agree?
    Truer words have never been spoken, but the best relationships are the ones that have an ever changing balance to keep things fair.
    5.  In what ways does Mia's memory of her parents' love influence her relationship with Cam?
    I think Mia is just outright fucked, and EVERYTHING she does is influenced by her parent's relationship.
    6. Who is the most selfish character? The most selfless?
    The most selfish?  Maggie.  Duh.  She was DYING, and she asked her heart-broken husband to suffocate her to death because she wasn't willing to do the job herself.  Selfless?  Jamie.  He KILLED a broad.  And consequences be damned!  Most (?) of us aren't capable of that.  Well, 9 out of 10 of us, anyways.
    7. In what ways are Cam and Jamie similar?
    They were both brought us with traditional values, but participated in non-traditional acts.  And they're both Scottish gingers.  Ugh.
    8. How is Cameron MacDonald like his namesake ancestor? How is he different? To what extent does the Scottish history of this clan affect his decisions?
    I think all that was just thrown in to fluff the reading experience up and give Cam a false sense of morality and heroism so as to make his downfall all the more shocking.
    9.  What is the significance of the moments in MERCY that are magical or somewhat unreal?
    To be honest, that shit confused the hell out of me, and I promptly disregarded it.
    10. There is a catch-22 in Mia and Cam's relationship… they have each fallen in love with a person who would no longer exist if they were to run off together. Do you agree or disagree with this statement, and why?
    I agree, because nothing is ever as perfect it seems to be, and while the relationship was incredible for them at the time, they knew, once it became real, it would be weighted down will all the trappings of a normal relationship.  Or maybe I disagree, because they were both cowards, and that was just the excuse they used so as not to take full responsibility for their actions.  If it was really true love, they would have been together, no matter who they disappointed, and consequences be damned!
    11. Is there a hero in this book?
    Why, the first Cam McDonald, of course!  He had a sword!
    12. What attracts Allie to Jamie? To Cam? What attracts Mia to Cam, and Cam to Mia? Do you believe that we try to find parts of our personalities that are lacking in the people we love?
    Allie is attracted to Jamie because, to her, he represents what she's been seeking; true unadulterated love.   Allie is attracted to Cam because of his strength and stolidity.  And his gun, I assume.  Weapons make babes hot!  Mia's attraction to Cam is based on her desperation, insecurity, and parental related issues.  And possibly true love.  And Cam's attraction to Mia is based on her mystery, and his yearning for adventure.  And that love thing.  And I think we are attracted to people different than ourselves, because we all want to feel complete.
    13.   At the end of chapter 17, Cam "wondered how he had so quickly gone from holding everything he wanted in the palm of his hand to having absolutely nothing at all. He wondered how he could have been so blinded by something shiny and new and elusive that he couldn't at least give equal credit for the strength of something stable, and strong, and his."  Do you think his feelings are heartfelt? Do you agree?
    I think Cam is just a red-headed redneck that gets WAY too much credit.  His feelings are only heartfelt insomuch that he's probably emo.  And I don't agree.  If you really love a person, you're not going to be blinded by shiny shit.  Close you eyes, for Christ's sake!   There's a reason why our parents told us not to look at the sun!
    14. Why did Picoult choose to make Jamie a pioneer in virtual reality?
    So he can be more perceptive to Maggie's ghost?
    15. How has Jamie changed by the end of the book?
    He begins to take a healthy interest in his own welfare.  When he killed Maggie, he didn't give a fuck.  When the final decision to his fate is being handed down, he definitely gives a fuck.  Also, in the end, he sees dead people, which was never mentioned before.  If it was continually happening, it probably would have been brought up.
    16. What will happen to Cam and Allie? To Mia? To Jamie?
    Do I look like Jodi Picoult to you?  I don't have the foggiest.  If it was my book, Cam and Allie would go through a messy divorce and he would be cowardly-slut-shamed out of town while she engaged in introspection, pottery classes, and a lesbian fling with Cam's mom.  Mia would find herself in a sticky situation or two, slowly growing older and more desperate for love, until she's murdered by an angry wife with a double barrel.  Jamie would grow crazier and crazier, until he kills himself.  And that's why I don't write other people's books.  I would ruin them.  You'd hate to see my "Hop on Pop - Part 2".
    17. Is this novel about love, or loyalty? Are they the same thing?
    Love is what binds you to your soulmate, no matter the cost.  Loyalty is what keeps you at a crappy job you hate until you die of ulcers at 40, or eat a pube sandwich at your favorite restaurant.
    The whole time I read this book, I was agitated as shit.  Cam's infidelity seemed to have no real reason behind it, other than a need to escape his responsibilities under a thin veneer of "love".  Hell, Mia even admitted that it wasn't Cam she wanted, but Allie's life!  And for all their talk of LOVE, they didn't even own up to their actions by BEING TOGETHER!  So NO ONE is happy!  They took all those stupid risks, and hurt Allie for pretty much no good reason.  And was there some magical subtheme I was missing?  And WTF happened to Mia?  I found myself wondering about so many loose ends, and I don't know if that was a good thing, or a bad thing... it means I want more from this book.
   Also, by the last 20 or 30 pages, I was gearing myself up for the big BANG signature of Jodi Picoult's books.  When it didn't come, I was disappointed (where's the twist?) but relieved (no sappy ass predictable cry fest).
   It was a stirring book, no doubt.  It mostly stirred my rage.