Remember
in one of my previous posts where I reminisced about ruining Bridge to Terebithia for the entirety of my Grade 5 class because I was so shattered and completely heartbroken by the ending, but because I had read it too quickly (were you one of those kids who read the assigned book the first week you got it like I did?) I had no one to discuss my outrage with and so I lashed out and possibly ruined reading for an entire class of 10-year-olds?
Well whoever did this is a soul after my own heart: Yup, my own bitter, twisted, blackened heart.
Hey, at least I put Spoiler Alert in the Title.
...but maybe I would get this if I had actually read the Harry Potter series.
I'm sure all you "Pot Heads" (ha ha) are either tittering like schoolgirls, or groaning like... schoolgirls. But the kind from RedTube. Ahem.
Can I please tell you about one of my biggest pet peeves? No, it's not the one where I rage over people using an upside down letter 'M' as a 'W'. Even more so than that, I hate people who ruin the endings of books. Why? WHY?! What is the point of telling someone that incredibly important bit of information? I literally had someone say to me, "Kat, have you read (blank) book?" "No," I replied, "I haven't." "Oh. Well you know where at the end, when she marries the guy?" Wait, WHAT?! Eat a bowl of hot dicks, lady.
The same bullshit happens on Amazon all the time. I found a sweet ass book called "The End of Alice" (I review it here) and when I was halfway though, I looked it up on Amazon to link to it. And started reading the blub. And without warning - BAM! - here's the ending. The spoiler that you're not supposed to learn about until the very last page... IF IT'S NOT RUINED FOR YOU BY ANON ASSHOLES.
Anyways, shizz happened AGAIN tonight. I linked to Remember Me 3 (which I'm reading right now) and started reading reviews. Big mistake. End ruined. It's not like I haven't read it before, but any time my scumbag brain:
tries to remember the ending, I tell it to shut up and sing some Katy Perry songs. Or stab it with my fingernail. Whatever.
So here I am, minding my own business, when a bunch of words throw themselves at my eyes, and my scumbag brain immediately translates them as a spoiler, and refuses to forget. Sure, it'll do this:
But it won't let me enjoy the book I'm reading. Fucking hell. All thanks to those assholes who refuse to yell !SPOILER ALERT!
See what I did there? If I have to suffer, so does everyone else. Hey, at least it was only movies.
I also told everyone in my grade 5 class how 'Bridge to Terabithia' ended, a full month before we were scheduled to finish it. To be fair, I was heartbroken, and lashing out at the cruel society that introduced me to such savage fare.
Also, spiteful. Very spiteful.
You know, they say the things you hate most in other are the things you hate most about yourself. Clearly, I haven't gotten over the 'Bridge to Terabithia' incident.
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