See if you can incorporate any of these words into your conversations today.  Because Christ knows kids these days need some vocab lessons.  I can only hear the word "like" interjected so many times into a sentence before my brains try to make a run for it by exploding out of my ears in frightening arcs of gore.  Or something akin to that.

  We need more of these.

  It's not classy, but it works.

  Find me this book.  I'll mail it to every broad who's been on Maury.  Or, most probably, keep it for myself. 
  Just in case.

  ELDERLY ninja?!

  Yeah, I love me some Wishbone.  I even do a post about him HERE.  When it comes to helping generations of children learn to love literature, Wishbone is where it's at.  But when it comes to sheer bangability, sorry Wishbone, Robert Downey Jr wins that round.  So it's pretty much even keel.  Right?

  Because if so, they at least have a good grasp of badass.

  Do you think the parents would mind if I went to schools and blasted this during impromptu playground assemblies?  It would encourage children to read, I bet.  And drink water.  Also important.

  Seriously though, this is mind bogglingly trippy.  And I like it.  Also?  My auto-correct recognizes 'bogglingly' but not 'trippy'.  How high were the auto-correct dudes?

  When I saw this, the first thing that came to mind was THIS:

  Except I'm not drunk.  Currently.